Spirit in the Letter

My Story

As of 2026, I might be considered a Tantrika (one who studies and is steeped in Tantra). In particular, I subscribe to Non-dual Shaiva Tantra, sometimes called Kashmir Shaivism. Or maybe I simply study with a Tantric teacher. I'm not embedded in practices of ritual or worship, which might be what it takes to be a "true Tantrika." I read the texts that have been translated into English, I meditate with practices in the tradition, and I study intensely with my teacher Sally Kempton (who passed away a few years ago, but left an immense treasury of teachings). I was also raised Christian, and Jesus will ever be firmly planted in my heart. My writings will often explore my deepening understanding of Christ's teachings through the Tantric lens.

In 2008, I was working on my Ph.D. in Physics and was freshly divorced. While deep in existential turmoil, I attended my first yoga class and picked up my first book on meditation ("Wherever You Go, There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn). The rest, as they say, is history. Except that it's the present - an ongoing spiritual journey that deepens yet never ceases or culminates. Early authors/teachers I read were Adyashanti, Eckart Tolle, and Mooji. In 2010, I was introduced to my first spiritual teacher, Bruce Joel Rubin. I would travel to his home in New York and meditate in a room full of spiritual seekers. It was an open-eyed meditation, taught to Bruce by his teacher, Rudi. Although Rudi died six years before I was born, stories of his teachings were powerfully delivered to us through Bruce. Then Bruce experienced his own radical Awakening in the same year that I met him. This truly impacted his community of followers.

Bruce and the many teachers I read were all part of the "non-dual" tradition, or Advaita. The AI overview of non-duality says "it is the profound realization that all existence is an undivided, interconnected whole. It teaches that the distinction between "self" and "other" is an illusion, revealing that consciousness is the primary essence of reality. The non-duality I followed was often a Zen, or Advaita (Indian), or Buddhist flavor. It always made intellectual sense and I kinda got it at that level. But it was all in my head, never in my heart. I would have waves of interest in reading and meditation, and then those waves would pass and subside. It didn't really stick with me. It was all in my head, and not in my heart.

In 2023 I experienced an earth-medicine journey that changed everything. My spiritual journey immediately returned to the forefront of my attention. Ever a skeptic of the chakra system from my yoga studies, yet ever intrigued since it was a key meditation focus in Bruce's classes, I was possessed by a need to discover the origins of the chakra system. As Neo sat on the internet to learn about the Matrix, I sat and searched, following key words and teachers. The first book I picked up, in January 2024, was Todd Norian's "Tantra Yoga." I also attended a weekend yoga intensive with Todd, an in-person initiation of sorts. Reading this book, I was hooked. I quickly filled my bookshelf with the works of Christopher Wallis, Daniel Odier, Mark Dyczkowski, Swami Muktananda, and Swami Lakshmanjoo. I poured through 1000's of pages in my first year. In November 2024, I finally met my spiritual teacher - Sally Kempton. I listened to her being interviewed on a few Sounds True podcasts. I immediately knew it. I immediately knew she was the teacher I had been looking for. She's left her physical body a year earlier, but the Sally Kempton Foundation was keeping her teachings available online. She has dozens of courses, with an immensity of writings, meditations, and audio teachings. Since I started my first course in December 2024, I've been constantly immersed in her teachings. I absolutely call myself her student.

Sally was given the name Swami Durgananda in the Siddha Yoga lineage, founded by Swami Muktananda. The same Muktananda who taught Rudi (Swami Rudrananda) - Bruce Rubin's teacher. This is a story of returning. Bruce told a similar story. He lived in New York City, traveled to India in search of a teacher, and found his teacher, Rudi, a few blocks from his home when he returned to NYC. Similarly, I started studying with Bruce and became a part of that lineage, wandered away from my spiritual search, and when I returned, I discovered that the teachings which resonated deeply with me had always been right there in front of me if I'd only known to see them.

I've been deeply immersed in Tantric studies for 2+ years, and broadly immersed in Advaita and Yoga for 18 years. I earned a B.A., M.A. and Ph.D. in Physics (2010), with a concentration in quantum mechanics and laser physics, and I completed a 200-hour yoga teacher training in 2012. In recent years, I've been fascinated by and actively deepening my understanding of the connections between spirituality and modern physics (quantum mechanics, entanglement, relativity, holography, and chaos). Previously a staunch materialist, my brain has been integrating these new spiritual teachings and I'm no longer certain about anything at all. My writings will wrestle extensively with these connections, and it is the primary topic that I'm thrilled to offer public presentations for. That, and I'm excited to offer workshops on an Introduction to Classical Tantra.

I'm excited by what I'm learning. The models of Reality offered by physics and non-dual shaiva tantra, and the incredible ways these models overlap, are ever at the forefront of my thoughts and studies. My ideas are in progress and incomplete, yet I offer them in my blog as a way to process information, to share my discoveries, to inspire and motivate, and to find others who are exploring these same connections.